So I've gotten pretty good at the holding, cuddling, and loving. I'm even a pretty good diaper changer. And I can do just about anything one handed. But who is supposed to tell me how and when to do the rest of it?! Where is the instruction manual? How am I supposed to know if I'm holding her too much, or not giving her enough tummy time, or when to transition her into her own room?? I've read tons of books, all of which have their own ideas and theories, and all of which contradict each other. For instance, I am reading two books on sleeping and sleep schedules. One talks about letting baby sleep in your room for several months and nurse throughout the night to establish that mother/child bond, while the other says you must set up a sleep schedule early to get them to sleep through the night in their own room to establish healthy sleeping. How do you figure out what is right?? I want a strong mommy/daughter bond, but I obviously want Breanna to have healthy sleeping habits too. I see the validity of both books and ideas. Everyone always says, just trust your motherly intuition and you'll figure things out. Well what if I don't have a motherly intuition, and what if that intuition tells me to do something that turns out to make things harder later on?
Can you tell my family is out of the house and we are having to figure out things on our own now? Haha, I really am not freaking out as much as this post makes it sound like. I'm just trying to figure out how to not screw up our beautiful daughter, haha! Any advice you have will be gladly accepted!
3 comments:
I TOTALLY understand this post... when Alex was born I stressed so much about the same things you're talking about - spent so much time reading and researching how to do everything and trying not to do anything that would "make things harder later". But really, do what works best for you and Drew and your family... if you want her to sleep in her own room, move her to her own room and don't worry about things! I am so much more relaxed with Nathan than I was with Alex and I just do what works for us and our lifestyle... everyone has an opinion and a different theory about every little thing when it comes to parenting because everyone has different lifestyles/priorities. But really, you are a fabulous mommy (I'm sure!) - just don't stress about the little things :) I really don't think you can do things "wrong" and you can ALWAYS make changes later... also, she is still so little, you won't "mess things up" for later ;)
Your's didn't come with one? Mine did... you might want to contact the manufacture... ;)
Aunt Debbie
:) The fact that you ask these questions means you are doing it right.
It's a big science experiment. Loving Breanna and respecting her as a human being and earning her trust...these things, these goals, will look different for each family. You are still getting to know each other's rhythms and needs. Allow yourself time..allow yourself to try something, and then pitch it the next week if it's not working.
Bottom line...you should feel PEACE. Maybe not ease or convenience...but PEACE. If you don't feel peace...change it!!! "Peace" may be encouraging her to sleep in a crib now. Peace may be keeping her closer in her bassinet for little bit longer. So, that is my prayer for you. Not that you will do things or not do them in a certain way, but that you have peace in your heart and in your home :)
Anne
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