I'm sure all of you know how that little saying ends: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Unfortunately many people don't follow that. Maybe my hormones are getting the best of me, or maybe I'm a bit cranky with a lack of sleep and sore hips, but either way here are a few tips for when talking to a pregnant woman:
1) Don't ask a woman if she is having twins! If she is talking to you about being pregnant, chances are she would tell you it's twins, so don't ask!
2) When you ask what name they picked, don't go on and on about how terrible a choice it is! Don't say anything negative about it at all in fact!
3) If you are a random stranger don't ask the mommy-to-be how much weight she has gained!
Honestly, do people's filter's just go away when talking to a pregnant woman?
I have now been asked twice if I'm having twins! My doctor has actually told me that my belly is measuring a bit smaller than normal, so I'm not truly concerned about looking big. In fact, I have felt pretty good lately about how my belly is growing and looking, but when you get asked this question it kind of makes you feel big! Similarly, I was also asked if I was sure about my due date because I "just look way too big to only be that far along!" That comment was asked by the SAME person that had one week earlier asked me if I was having twins. And the kicker... this woman KNOWS I'm not having twins.
I was unsure about telling people our name choice for the reason stated in number 2. I actually told Drew very early that we would not tell people the name until birth, but for some reason decided to go ahead and tell everyone. Now, I have not had any really bad or negative comments. Drew however has. Maybe people feel as though the daddy-to-be doesn't have as much emotional attachment to the name as I do, I don't know. He's gotten not just bad faces or "oh, I knew a Breanna that..." but he's actually gotten things like, "why in the world would you choose that?" and "That's a horrible choice" and on and on. Seriously people?! Would you go up to me and talk about how much you hate my name... no, so let's not do that about the name of our daughter.
Last night I was at customer service inside Target and the woman who worked there was a bit too friendly. She was trying to be very kind and nice by telling me how great and tiny I looked, etc. but in talking about how small I was she asked how much weight I had gained. Just an FYI, it doesn't matter how small you are, seeing the scale at the highest numbers you've ever been at is a hard thing. I don't mind talking about my weight gain to friends and family, but if I don't know your name by anything other than what's on your nametag, don't ask!
I will say I have been very happy that I have not had complete strangers ask to touch my belly. This was something I anticipated, becasue I have to say that I do understand the curiousity. Which is why I don't mind at all for you to feel her move if I know you. Thankfully I've only had 2 people try to rub my belly that I didn't really know. A good rule is, if you don't know my name, don't touch me, haha.
Sorry that this post seems to be a bit negative and sound like all complaints. I needed to vent for a minute, and I figured it would be a good Don't Do list, haha. Thanks for listening!
Keep praying for a helathy and happy baby girl and pregnancy!
West Fork Park | Green Township, OH | Cincinnati
8 years ago
3 comments:
Haha..love the rant! People are interesting - I believe it was just yesterday that I was repeating that same line (if you can't say anything nice...) to my first graders. Well, for the record, you look adorable. People probably think you look so much bigger because you're such a small person - who doesn't even look pregnant from many angles - and have your cute little breanna basketball there! ;)
lol i always liked "WOW you must be due really soon!!!" (asked in February) to which I had to reply.."uh, no actually, end of April..."
Anne
Isn't it the truth! Wait until you have just had her and people ask when you are due- Argh. Or the ones who insist on telling their horrifying birth stories (My experience was nothing short of wonderful and thanks to my new BF epidural, pain free). I hated people I didn't know touching me- now I hate people I don't know touching the baby. :-)
I get the name thing- with a name like Jagger we got a LOT of negative comments- mostly from family. But, you know, once that precious life comes out, you forget all the bad, annoying things and fall in love...and everyone else could care less what the name is :-)
Love you! You look great, I want to squeeze you.
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